“Time to congregate! The limo is leaving promptly at 7:30pm! That’s fifteen minutes from now!” he sang as he passed each bedroom door, all of which remained firmly shut.

The limo would not, in fact, be leaving for another half-hour. But when dealing with his brother and sisters, Dennis knew better than to be truthful about deadlines. They rarely concerned themselves with timing or etiquette, and they never turned down the opportunity for a good long nap.

Reaching the end of the hallway, Dennis now stood alone in the grand foyer.

“The limo leaves in ten minutes…” he called, to no response.

Not surprising.

Dennis leaned against the wall and waited. He tapped the tip of his umbrella loudly and impatiently against the marble-tiled floor, counting each tap as he went. On the two hundred and ninety-eighth tap, he heard a door open. His big sister Claire hurried out of her room and shuffled down the hall, a look of bleary concern on her face.

“Did you hear that tapping?” she said conspiratorially. Dennis nodded.

“I did. Very suspicious,” he said.

Claire leaned in closer to him.

“What do you think it means?”

Dennis put a hand on her back.

“I think it means we have to go. The limo leaves in eight minutes, and as the museum’s most generous donors - the donors who are, in fact, being honoured at this very gala - we are expected to be there in a timely fashion.”

Claire’s eyes widened.

“You were able to deduce all that from the tapping?” she whispered.

Dennis stared at her. She stared back. He tapped the umbrella once on the floor. Startled, Claire took a step back. Then, upon recognizing her brother as the source of the mysterious percussion, she burst into a fit of giggles.

“Oh, thank goodness! I was worried the hauntings had started up again. Don’t worry, I’m almost ready!” she assured him, before turning back down the hallway and heading towards her bedroom. Dennis reached out to stop her.

“No, no, no, you look fine!” he called after her reassuringly, but slumped over in defeat as Claire disappeared into her room.

Dennis paced up and down the foyer. Spinning on his heel, he just missed catching his brother Mitch, who quietly emerged from his bedroom, a towel haphazardly draped across his body. Mitch trudged across the hall and into the bathroom.

“Mitch, Mitch, Mitch…!” Dennis called, a little too late, as the bathroom door shut with a resounding bang. He heard the unmistakable whoosh of the water turning on, and an empty bathtub being filled. He sighed, and bumped his head softly against the wall in frustration.
Without warning, the front door was suddenly flung open. Dennis jumped back in surprise as his youngest sister Penny walked into the penthouse, overloaded with bags of expensive purchases.

“Penny?! What in the blazes? I thought you were in your room!” Dennis sputtered as Penny breezed by him.

“Nope. Shopping. I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up when we have to leave for that art thingy,” she said casually as she strode down the hall towards her bedroom.

“It’s a museum thingy!” Dennis hollered after her. “And the limo is literally leaving as we speak-” He was cut off by the sound of Penny’s door slamming shut.

That was it. One too many doors had just been shut in his face. Dennis snapped.

“Fine! That’s it, I’m going alone! Don’t come crying to me when your pictures aren’t in the papers tomorrow, YOU ANIMALS!” he yelled to the empty foyer, gesticulating wildly and jabbing his finger in the air.

Turning to leave, Dennis bumped smack into his sister Daphne. She stood blocking the front door, wearing her best floppy gardening hat.

“Hello Denn… I was just thinking, tonight might be a problem for me. You see, the rooftop garden has fallen victim to a nasty bout of root-slime, and I-”

“It’s fine,” said Dennis, already thoroughly defeated, “I’ll just say you had a prior engagement.”

Daphne gazed dreamily towards the ceiling.

“Perhaps I’m searching for orchids in the Fakahatchee Strand State Preserve?”
Dennis took her hand and squeezed it softly.

“Sure. I’ll tell everyone you’ve gone on an adventure,” he said with a forced calm before opening the door, stepping into the hallway, and giving his sister a gentlemanly bow. Daphne curtsied sweetly in reply, as Dennis shut the door gently behind him.

It was time to represent the family. Probably best he go it alone.